The House That I'm Building

No, I'm not actually building a house. I'm speaking about the house/home I building for my children, the lessons taught and memories made. Think back to when you were young, those are the things that made you who you are today. The Sunday dinners at Grandma's house, family camping trips, visits to the park, you get the idea. Are you building a good house for your kids? I know it feels like we never have enough time with them, but make what time you do have count. It gets even harder when you have more than one child. I deal with that one all the time, who gets what and when can you do it? When the boys were younger we took turns taking them out to dinner, a movie or whatever they wanted to do.

My boys are older now, Jordan has moved out on his own and Alex is going to be a Senior next year, and Chris will be a Junior. Where did the time go? Soon they will be bringing me grandchildren to visit. I'm very excited about that. They will have families of their own and hopefully some of the traditions that they had growing up will be passed on. The building blocks of family. Sometimes as a parent we second guess ourselves, wondering if we have given them everything they wanted. The truth is I hope you haven't given everything they wanted, but instead everything they needed. That you have taught values and integrity. How to be kind and sympathetic to other people’s needs. Selflessness and humility, in other words a house that is strong and steady, not big and flashy. In the years I have been around I have learned that slow and steady win the race, enjoy the view. Going too fast will only create a bad foundation and cause the house to crumble.

Take some time and think about the house that built you and make modifications if needed and build a strong house for yourself and family. It's up to you to do the right things and teach your children how to follow in your footsteps. Go out pick up a hammer and get to work.

Home

You can’t go home again…..or can you? Why not, who says we can’t? We should all go home again at least a few times in our lives. Recently, I have started on my journey home. What happened to that happy freckled faced young girl that giggled at everything? I want to find her, I miss her. So, I’m going home, back to the place that makes me, me. I always start with my Grandpa Donoho he was an amazing man full of strength and spirit, he taught me to stand up for myself, but to also be a lady, I miss him, and he’s part of my home. My road home is a long one filled with wonderful memories of the people who shaped me into the woman I am today. The road is sometimes bumpy and full of curves, but I love remembering every one of them. It all serves as a reminder, of where I came from. That’s why I go home again, anytime I feel I have forgotten who I am. A little self check if you will. Maybe it’s selfish; I love to have that feeling of truly being loved for who I am. The summers spent having Lemonade stands, riding my bike to M&W to get some candy and swimming in the neighbor’s pool. It was all so innocent and safe, just like it should have been. Family vacations, holiday dinners, even funerals are part of my road home. All of it made me……me. I am so thankful to have had so many amazing people on my journey. So yes, you can go home again. Memories are always a great way to start, pull out the picture album and start your journey home. You never know, you may find strength you had forgotten you had. Mamma, I’m coming home.

Farm Life

It's been a bit since the last time I wrote. Life has been crazy busy, I'm sure that most of you feel the same way. The hustle and bustle of daily life can be overwhelming. Spring is here on my little farm. We are up to four pygmy goats now, Cinnamon is about to give birth, so more will be here soon. I have added some other new additions as well, I now have Double & Trouble, my Rouen ducks. Who knew they would be so much fun!
I was asked yesterday, "Why do you have so many animals?". It took me a little of guard, I don't think of it that way. They are like family, that would be like asking why I have so many kids, I just do! But it did get me thinking.............Unconditional love? They don't talk back, they are always happy to see you, they are soft and sweet, when I'm done with them I can put them back in the cage. Who really knows why, I just love them! It's selfish I suppose, they make me smile and in todays society, that's a big deal! Right now I'm sitting on the back porch looking at the goats, chickens and horses. My dogs are playing in the pond, the cat is sitting with me. What more could I ask for? It's peaceful and they are so funny! Maybe you don't like animals, if that is the case, I'm sorry you are really missing out! I'll keep you posted on the goats.

Changes....they are a coming

I want to apologize for not keeping up........I've been rather busy. I want to talk about changes today. Why do we fear change so much? When in reality things change everyday, we just don't pay attention. When our kids are little we notice every change in them daily. The new little hairs growing the beautiful head of our baby. We mark the changes in Baby Books and the hundreds of baby pictures that we take. So what happens to us, why can't we embrace all change in that way? Some of us take changes in stride like professionals, then some of us act like children and refuse it. Which one are you? Maybe a little of both? I want to talk about the changes that sneak up on you. The ones you were not expecting, but that can change your life forever. Like finding out that you are pregnant at eighteen. That's a big change that will affect everything in your life. How do you deal with? Curl up in a corner and cry......or make the choice to embrace the fact that you will be having a baby? I was faced with that myself. Not married and still living at home and about to have a baby. I was scared, but also so excited about the change that was coming. Change is a wonderful thing.......take it for a ride, try something new. I'm not suggesting that you get pregnant, start small so you will be ready for the big ones. Go try Sushi, or take a dance class. If change scares you, start small, you might find you really like it.  It can be very addicting. Changes.......they are a coming!

Death/Loss Of A Loved One

We all have to deal with loss, there are many different forms of loss. Death is the form I want to talk about today. Some of us don't have to deal with this topic until they are adults. Unfortunately some of us must deal with it at a young age. Death is never easy, it's an extreme loss for us. Sometimes it can be a blessing for those who have been in pain. Other times it comes as a shock. I think of it as an earthquake, at first the rumble is devestating, scary and life altering. But how we deal with the "aftershocks" is what makes us who we are. I have witnessed some horrific "aftershocks", family fighting each other over money and belongings. Why do people feel the need to be so petty? Keep the memories from the person who passed away, things are nice, but can break and dissapear, memories are forever. The best thing to do is to celebrate the life of the person lost. Look at pictures and share stories with your friends and family. Children are almost always going to take death hard. They don't understand where the one they loved has gone. In our family we believe in Heaven, my children know that someday they will see the people they loved again.
So I want everyone to go out today and make memories with those you love. Look at pictures now and tell your children who they are and share stories. Someday you won't be around and they need those memories. Take a walk in the park, read a book together. Make everyday a memory.

Slow Down

How many times do we walk right past a beautiful bunch of flowers not even taking a second to smell them, let alone even notice them? I really hope it's never. We are blessed with so many wonderful sights and smells everyday. The colors of the sunrise and sunset are amazing.  Be humbled and take a second to reflect. Our lives are precious, be good to yourself and the ones you love. Slow down and take a second to enjoy what God has given us.

Labels

As some of you know, I have a son with Cerebral Palsey. With that comes the unfortunate label of "Disabled". I have never and will never think of him that way! He is a child, a wonderful "abled" child. Labels are an unfortunate side affect of living inside "the box", as a family we chose to stay outside of that box in the raising of our children. When Alex was five he jumped up on my bed and asked me "Mommy, why am I different?, My hand doesn't open like the other kids". I'll admit, that was a tough thing to hear. We had never treated him any different at home, but now he was out with other kids. I took him in my arms and told him "Sweetie, we are all different, like our eye, hair and skin color. Some us are tall, some are short, but we are all different and that's what makes us special".  So you see, we can even label ourselves and not even realize we are doing it. 
Do you remember when you were young and playing on the playground? In grade school, everyone was happy to play and talk to everyone else. Then we hit junior high..........that is when the labeling starts. If you played sports, you were a "jock and/or popular kid". If you wore cowboy boots, you were a "hick". I think you get where I'm going with this. Why do we insist on labeling? Is it our own insecurities coming out, and that's how we make ourselves feel better? I'm not going to sit here and act as if I have never done it myself, I have and I'm not proud of it. But I can tell you that when I was growing up I did my best to be friends with everyone. That's how you grow and learn, the differences in all of us is what makes us unique. Who's to say that having CP is any different than someone wearing a cowboy hat and boots in the mall? It is who they are on the inside that matters. Why do you chose to stare and point? I want to challange everyone to  move outside of the box today. Do what I do, go up to the person that is different and talk to them instead of label them. You will find out that they are no different than you or me.

Choices/Consequences

We make hundreds of choices everyday. Some small ones that we make without the slightest thought, some larger ones that require endless amounts of thought. I want to talk about the "Big Ones", the life changers. It's very difficult to make those, sometimes gut wrenching, but necessary. Everyones idea of the "Big One" is different. It might be making the choice of what shoes to wear.....men, don't laugh it's a tough choice for us woman. Or, the choice of walking through the door to the abortion clinic. What choice you make can change your life. As a woman, those choices can be devestating to her life. I have been blessed enough that I have not had to make the later choice, but have know many who have. And it changed their life forever. The reason I chose this topic today is that recently I have spoken to many young girls that have been making bad choices. They have come to me in the midst of crisis because they could not speak to their own parents. Which brings me to my point, as parents it is our job to raise our children to understand that you do have choices and with those choices comes consequences. It really needs to start with them when they are young, clean your room or suffer the consequences of your choice. Too many parents want to be friends with their kids. Bad idea, my kids know they can come to me because I will love them no matter what. But they also know that they will have consequeces, which makes them think twice before doing something they shouldn't. I will admit that even as an adult, I make bad choices sometimes. But I'm willing to take the consequence for what I have done. Please speak to your kids and lead by example. Go out and make good choices today, I'm going too.

"That's ok, I can build it again"

The saying "youth is wasted on the young" comes to mind today. I often wonder what it would be like to be young again and know what I know now. As I am sure a lot of you do as well. What would you do different? I'm not sure that I would change anything. Knowing what I know now would only complicate things. Why would I want to know the future, I wouldn't. I still feel as young today as I did when I was 20. Maybe over time my bones will ache and I won't be able to stay up late anymore, but that's ok. It will just make me appreciate the mornings more. As long as you feel young.......you are young! Everyday is an opportunity to feel young, it's up to you to take it. I was watching a friends 3 year old yesterday playing with legos. He kept building something and then it would fall apart, his response to that was "that's ok, I can build it again". I love kids!!! That is some of the best advice. So, as you see the saying "youth is wasted on the young" is a false statement. They continue to share it with us, which in turn keeps us young. Go out and build something today, I'm going to.

Friends

Today I want to talk about friends. As time goes by I have grown to realize that we have friends for the many different personalities that we have. And no, I'm not saying that we are bi-polar. For example, I have a really good friend that I go shopping with, but I would never take her out horseback riding. I have a friend that I go horseback riding with, but would not take shopping, do you get what I'm saying? Sometimes when you're really lucky, you hit the mother load of friends and find someone that you can do everything with. I have been lucky enough to find a few friends like that in my life. My friends are all so different, but I believe you need your friends to be different from one another. Sometimes you need that friend that is always willing to agree with whatever you say. She is one of my favorites....and in return, you agree with whatever she says too. I truly love all of my friends for who they are and who I get to be when I am with them. They all bring such wonderful things to the table and I am very lucky to have a very large table of friends. Here's to friends old and new!

Loose Threads/Filters

We all know what I'm talking about.....those loose threads on your clothes that you want to just pull on. But we all know what happens when we do that! Sometimes if you're lucky, the thread breaks and sometimes you're not so lucky.......everything comes unraveled.
That's a lot like life. Yesterday on my blog I spoke about finding "Who You Are", it was like a little thread that was hanging out and bothering me, speaking about it was like breaking the thread off and moving on. Unfortunately, it became an unraveled piece of clothing. Instead of looking at it as a bad thing, I'm going to get out my needle and sew it back together.
Which brings me to my next topic......"Filters", and how sometimes I don't use mine. Do you ever think about saying something to someone while your talking to them but don't actually verbalize it? I, verbalize it! Which doesn't always work out in my best interest. So, I'm working on that. "Think about it before you say it", is my motto. Words can really hurt someone, even if you had the best of intentions. That's it for today, got a busy one ahead. Have a great day!

Who Are You?

I've been wrestling with this question a lot lately. Who am I? I don't know who I am, yep, I said it! Thirty eight years old and I have no idea who I am. I often feel like I become what the person I am with needs. Is that a good thing? I'm not sure. I have spent my entire life being what everyone else needed. In the process of doing that, I have lost myself. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom and wife. I enjoy making dinner and cleaning my house, but that's not who I am. And no matter who I think I am, someone else has a completely different view of who they think I am. Maybe people only see you for what they need, not what YOU need. And I would just bet that a lot of you feel this way too. Do I continue to worry about what everyone around me needs and continue to smile and pretend? Or do I stand up and speak loudly and find out who I really am? Can I be what everyone needs and what I need too? I don't know.........but I'm going to find out. Maybe it's a respect issue, respect me for who I am, not what you want me to be.
I do believe that who we are changes as we grow older. Our perspective on life changes, thus who we are changes. A constant circle.........maybe instead of chasing my tail in that circle, I will look to the hills and head off. Looking forward to the new me!!!! I'll keep you posted!

One With The Wind

As I sit and watch the wind blow, I can't help but remember when the boys were little. Alex loved the wind he would run outside and hold his arms up and laugh. I think he thought he would fly. We gave him and Indian name "One with the Wind". He stills rolls down the window and lets the wind hit him when we are driving. The other boys didn't enjoy the wind as much, Chris would hide from it and Jordan didn't like how it felt going up his nose.
I like to think of wind as a bit of a cleanser, it can blow away all the things you don't need anymore. Like that cardboard box you left in the back yard, or your worries. Maybe that is why Alex likes the wind, it carries his worries away. You can make any day a windy day, go for a drive, ride your bike, or in my case my horse. I ride Penny and we are free the only sound is the wind in my ear.
I know we all get so carried away by the stress of life, sometimes we need to take advice from our kids. They are pure, gentle and unblemished. I have learned alot about life from them, the things we forget as we grow old. I think I might go outside and hold my arms up and let the wind carry my worries away! You should try it too.Take a moment today and act like a child, I promise you will feel better! Ok, I'm off to go embrace the wind. Have a great day!